i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My breasts were aching with rage.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize