Where is the hickey?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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