im having a threesome with these popsicles
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
a search helicopter?!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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