can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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