Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
