lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
