lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
