life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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