dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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