I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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