that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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