Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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