Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
