At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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