I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
my poor anus
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.