There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
