R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
