Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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