Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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