So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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