LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
