i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
