Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
