I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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