PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
