I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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