We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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