I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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