wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
