I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
