I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
