I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
