Girls should come with a carfax report
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
