Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
