Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
