By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
