Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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