Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.

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  (903): I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better. http://tfl.nu/5s87
  Replies (43) Good night (1471) Bad night (5300)
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  (310): View more from California

  i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

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  (310): i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over. http://tfl.nu/nwsy
  Replies (40) Good night (16207) Bad night (2292)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.

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  (703): I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm. http://tfl.nu/zuvg
  Replies (20) Good night (4771) Bad night (1069)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.

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  (786): i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot. http://tfl.nu/tkrk
  Replies (19) Good night (1056) Bad night (4519)
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  (818): View more from California

  remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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  (818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx
  Replies (116) Good night (6612) Bad night (12322)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.

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  (647): We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda. http://tfl.nu/2f76
  Replies (8) Good night (4113) Bad night (1063)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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  (317): I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting. http://tfl.nu/kkkr
  Replies (25) Good night (3775) Bad night (2888)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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  (701): He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there http://tfl.nu/wgp9
  Replies (2) Good night (1085) Bad night (1979)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.

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  (312): If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops. http://tfl.nu/hm3g
  Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (2479)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months

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  (919): I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months http://tfl.nu/8o8f
  Replies (10) Good night (2998) Bad night (3676)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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  (360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn
  Replies (10) Good night (2663) Bad night (1161)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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  (419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel
  Replies (7) Good night (2782) Bad night (680)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.

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  (248): Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds. http://tfl.nu/tb7m
  Replies (1) Good night (972) Bad night (568)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.

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  (516): I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life. http://tfl.nu/l6bp
  Replies (0) Good night (588) Bad night (341)
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  (707): View more from California

  fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night

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  (707): fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night http://tfl.nu/7syr
  Replies (3) Good night (1191) Bad night (211)

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