So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children