Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling

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  (651): But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling http://tfl.nu/6n5a
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter

  (310): View more from California

  Whats your twitter name

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  (917): omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter (310): Whats your twitter name http://tfl.nu/jdyv
  Replies (8) Good night (680) Bad night (2544)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  i'm lost and i look like a hooker

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  (530): i'm lost and i look like a hooker http://tfl.nu/mbk3
  Replies (18) Good night (1386) Bad night (3945)
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (703) Bad night (4135)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job

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  (856): Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job http://tfl.nu/pld4
  Replies (19) Good night (1204) Bad night (4219)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

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  (931): My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life. http://tfl.nu/ajpd
  Replies (9) Good night (5123) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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  (618): we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning http://tfl.nu/44lc
  Replies (3) Good night (2919) Bad night (1351)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.

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  (540): Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman. http://tfl.nu/z7nz
  Replies (6) Good night (4310) Bad night (863)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (920) Bad night (2356)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.

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  (719): You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job. http://tfl.nu/yqtc
  Replies (19) Good night (3315) Bad night (1378)
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  (619): View more from California

  he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up

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  (619): he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up http://tfl.nu/8iri
  Replies (5) Good night (2093) Bad night (934)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic

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  (701): I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/cgi2
  Replies (3) Good night (2071) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think

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  (410): That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think http://tfl.nu/xmfy
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me

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  (218): Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me http://tfl.nu/p7wy
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again

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  (918): I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again http://tfl.nu/ke6t
  Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (454)

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