Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.

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  (305): He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong. http://tfl.nu/8xt9
  Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (1491)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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  (303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2
  Replies (12) Good night (845) Bad night (4675)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one

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  (336): A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one http://tfl.nu/284v
  Replies (25) Good night (8062) Bad night (762)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?

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  (979): Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"? http://tfl.nu/w79j
  Replies (148) Good night (6083) Bad night (1163)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.

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  (814): shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step. http://tfl.nu/6g1i
  Replies (16) Good night (6443) Bad night (963)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.

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  (601): And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob. http://tfl.nu/lvxa
  Replies (8) Good night (2523) Bad night (871)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!

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  (817): Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?! http://tfl.nu/9bqy
  Replies (10) Good night (2004) Bad night (786)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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  (416): Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything. http://tfl.nu/up9n
  Replies (58) Good night (899) Bad night (5300)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I decided to mark my territory.

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  (309): Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket? (1-309): I decided to mark my territory. http://tfl.nu/6hzp
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (1082)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me it was like eating gods vagina.

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  (413): he told me it was like eating gods vagina. http://tfl.nu/d5n4
  Replies (12) Good night (1402) Bad night (515)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed

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  (717): if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen? (484): i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed http://tfl.nu/7o4k
  Replies (7) Good night (1086) Bad night (418)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions

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  (787): antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions http://tfl.nu/y7o6
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (402)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.

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  (479): Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals. http://tfl.nu/0t02
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (233)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  The apocalypse has arrived.

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  (320): For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment. (1-320): The apocalypse has arrived. http://tfl.nu/kypn
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (337)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover

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  (248): And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover http://tfl.nu/8g3o
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (276)

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