come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null