Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
