How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
