:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
