Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
