I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it glows. i had to have it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
