i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
