butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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