'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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