I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
