I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I party with great urgency now.
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