1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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