Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
