your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
