Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
