Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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