Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
