He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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