I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
