im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
