Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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