Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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