it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
