We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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