I'm going to jail i love you
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Still dying that you shit outside
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
