Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
