yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
