if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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